Experience

Awakening from My Dogmatic Slumber

Every year, people across the world make New Year’s Resolutions. They vow to improve their lives, so they join a gym, change their diet, drink less, etc. However, within a few weeks, their old habits emerge and their resolutions fade away. Why? New Year’s Resolutions do not work because they require resolve and, usually, self-control. As many of us have learned, this is a very difficult path.

Fortunately, I have also been taught the solution. There is a resolution which is an end to all resolutions.

The real problem is that our goals are too modest. We want to lose 5 pounds or slightly cut down how much we drink or smoke or eat. We hold on so tightly to all of these activities that they become wrapped up in our personal identity and we end up building layers upon layers (see I Wear a Mask).

The key is not to accumulate these layers, but rather to let go of them. Ironically, letting go should be easy. However, for most of us, letting go is just as difficult as self-control since we think that both require effort. This is due to the same central confusion – that we do not know ourselves.

Philosopher David Hume has had a profound influence on my views of the world and approach to life. In the Prolegomena to Any Future Metaphysics, philosopher Immanuel Kant describes how Hume interrupted his “dogmatic slumber” through philosophical inquiry…and I can think of no better way to describe my own experience, which began with a simple and honest admission: I do not know anything (see Ego and Humility).

When I awoke from my dogmatic slumber, I realized: if you want to achieve something in life, do not control yourself. Understand yourself.

The Limits of Discipline

Some of my close family members consider me to be disciplined. This is not unusual for someone in my profession, and the truth is that for anybody (whether they are in medicine, law, finance, entertainment, sports, etc.) to become successful, it takes focus and a willingness to delay gratification. We tend to say that it takes sacrifice.

I have personally seen hundreds of medical professionals who have sacrificed a great deal to advance in their careers. My parents left their families and homes for a new world and new opportunities. Like many small business owners, they worked 24/7.

What motivates people like this? It is a higher goal. It may be a desire to provide for their family and make a better life for the next generation, or it might be the desire to achieve success or solve problems in the world.

In high school, I had a desire to help people and made it a goal to achieve this through a career in medicine. In order to get there, I had to get into medical school. To get there, I had to get into a good university. To get there, I had to get good grades by studying. In the big picture, going out on a random night was just not very important. By understanding my goals, I was able to focus on the tremendous potential of what could be gained, so I never viewed letting go of any of the small things as a sacrifice.

But this was not something that I had to consciously tell myself. Even from a young age, doing well in school was always a goal in itself. I was not necessarily competitive with other people; I just wanted to do well in general. I thought this was my higher goal, but when I look back now, I realize that this goal was too self-centered.

In fact, when I grew older, the source of my earlier success was the source of so much of my own suffering because it was really about my own ego and how I viewed myself (see 4 Powers). I have a wide variety of interests. When I looked at my colleagues and could see how specifically devoted they were to medicine, it led me to ask whether I loved medicine enough….Did I belong? Had I chosen the right path? After comparing myself to others, I questioned myself and my own identity.

Is Self-Control the Method?​

In the modern age, we are constantly fed advertisements that convince us to seek happiness out in the world. Behind these moments of happiness, there are moments of suffering (see The Residue). If you are convinced that happiness is in sugary food, you are on the path to diabetes, and that is the path to eye disease, kidney disease, neurological disease, etc. If you are convinced that happiness is in going to other places, you will be miserable when you are “locked down” at home instead of seeing it as a tremendous opportunity for growth. If you are convinced that happiness is when other people come, you will be miserable when they go.

I am not saying we should not do these things and I definitely cannot say they do not bring happiness. The point is that we must simply examine if they give everlasting happiness or just small surges of emotion, followed by drops.

With the messages we are constantly getting, trying to control ourselves is extremely difficult and very rarely succeeds. This is because our efforts are misguided. It is not vice that we need to overcome – it is ego and its attachments. Because we are attached to the ego and, through the ego, to mind and body, we go around and around in this constant cycle of happiness and misery.

Discipline involves self-control, and this is a very difficult path. It means that, when you look at a cookie, you keep telling yourself “do not eat this cookie…do not eat this cookie.” There is inherently something negative involved in this process of pushing something away.

We try to control things that are constantly changing, so when we block one thing, something else comes up. For example, if I have a bucket full of water with several holes, I can block one hole, but water will keep escaping through the other holes. Similarly, if someone tries to control their desires, they just come back stronger. As much as we think we control our lives, we are never in control. The universe teaches this to us every day. When you view the world with equanimity, you do not need to run away from things and you also do not need to run towards things. You will accept things.

Part of the goal of this site is to use the scientific process to better understand ourselves and the world around us so that we can achieve this equanimity. If you experiment on yourself, you will have a better idea of how your body and mind react to certain external forces (see Food for Thought). Then, you will begin to see the patterns that arise from these processes (see The Residue). When you understand the effect that the cookie has on you, self-control is not even an issue.

We all want to do what is in our own interest and happiness, but we spend the vast majority of our time working against that intent because of ignorance. If you understand yourself and your relation to the world, there will be no need for self-control. You will simply act in harmony and balance with your own nature and the world around you. Suppose you have a dream of a crime being committed. When you awaken and realize that it was just a dream, you will not be impelled to call the police because you understand your relation to this dream world.

Aim Higher​

The problem is not that our goals are too lofty – it is that our goals are too modest. I have found that, by setting an intention to overcome my ego (see 4 Powers), I am able to accept the world as it unfolds.

Overcoming the ego is an achievable goal. We know that because we have already established the layers of masks that we wear (see I Wear a Mask). All of our efforts are ultimately trying to achieve freedom, but, in this pursuit, we discover that Freedom is our essential nature (we will explore this in later Journal Entries). So, are we working in tune with and uncovering our nature, or are we working against it by concealing it with more layers of bondage?

We just need to neutralize all the baggage. By focusing on the welfare of others and not ourselves, this becomes so much easier. We see this through our parents, who sacrifice everything for our happiness. The problem is that we are too attached to our own ego and its tiny circle of friends and family and do not see the bigger connection with all living beings. Because we are imprisoned by attachment to our egos, we are not ambitious enough.

Prayoga​

Let’s try a new approach to resolutions. Do not seek to control yourself. Seek to understand yourself. Do not overcome vice; overcome ego. In doing so, you will set yourself on the path to achieving your true potential.

Awaken from your dogmatic slumber of self-centeredness. Recognize the holistic nature of reality – everything is connected by a scientific law of cause and effect (we will dive into this in future Journal Entries).

Recognize that the key to breaking habits is not control. The mind is very difficult to control, as it is constantly wandering and attaching to different things. First, you must accept that this is the nature of the mind.

Then, ask yourself: am I something that is constantly changing or is there something permanent that is the ground of my experience? Can I be this body? Can I be this mind?

Next, instead of trying to control this changing self, set an intention to understand the nature of your true Self.

Finally, let go of your attachment to your ego. Notice what happens: your attachment to your body and mind will reduce because the ego is the link to the body and mind. When you reduce your attachment to your body and mind, the unhealthy attachment to all of the things that they are attached to will also slowly wither away.

You may be thinking that this will lead to a miserable life, but my experience is that the exact opposite is true.

When we first learn to ride a bike, we use training wheels. Once we gain enough skill, we no longer need them. We can let the training wheels go and, not only ride with ease, but the experience is even more enjoyable as we are able to face challenges and move forward.

Then, the day-to-day changes of the world will not disturb us. As our circle continues to expand, our experience of the world will grow in profound ways.

If you are experimenting with a new approach to resolutions, we welcome you to leave a message below.